LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND - Listen first, talk second: To solve a problem effectively you have to understand where the other person is coming from before defending your own position.
RESPECT EACH OTHER - Make sure that good relationships are the first priority: As far as possible, make sure that you treat the other calmly and that you try to build mutual respect. Do your best to be courteous to one another and remain constructive under pressure.
FOCUS ON PROBLEM NOT PERSON - Keep people and problems separate: Recognize that in many cases the other person is not just "being difficult" - real and valid differences can lie behind conflictive positions. By separating the problem from the person, real issues can be debated without damaging working relationships.
PAY ATTENTION - Pay attention to the interests that are being presented: By listening carefully you'll most likely understand why the person is adopting his or her position.
OBJECTIVES - Set out the "facts": Agree and establish the objective, observable elements that will have an impact on the decision.
BE FLEXIBLE - Think grey rather than black and white: Be open to the idea that a third position may exist.
COLLABORATE - Explore options together: a problem shared is often a problem solved.
