My Background

I wasn't always a counsellor - the word wasn't even in my vocabulary when I was graduating from school in England many years ago. I had told my parents at the age of 7 - so the story goes - that I wanted to be a medical doctor. And believe it or not, that was where I was "streamed" for the next 11 years.

No matter that I struggled with chemistry and physics, no matter that I consistently failed Latin (which was a prerequisite for medical school in those days), no matter that I excelled in arts rather than sciences - I had once said I wanted to be a doctor, and that was it. Talk about taking on the values and dreams of our parents! Being a doctor then, as it still is today, carried with it prestige and a guarantee of stability and a good salary. Parents who had come through WW2 wanted the best for their children.

Needless to say, that dream didn't work out for me - or them - and I left school without a clear path ahead. One thing I did have though, was insatiable curiosity: I was always wondering about things. How did that work? Where did that come from? What made people act the way they did? I certainly had the mind and interest of a researcher. And then, significantly - what might it be like to live in another country?

Well - a toss of a coin (with my roommate) led to me coming to live in Canada. Heads? New Zealand. Tails? Canada. By doing such a simple thing, are such life-changing decisions made. Sailing on the Queen Elizabeth 1 from Southampton (on a sea of tears at leaving my family) to New York, flying to Toronto, working there for 6 months, visiting friends for a while in Calgary - and then travelling by train to Vancouver. The minute I got off the train in Vancouver I never wanted to leave again - I couldn't explain the feeling, and I can't even today. I just felt I'd come home.

Funnily enough, I met a New Zealander not long after I arrived, and to cut a long story short we were married a couple of years later. We did go and live in NZ for a few years - and although I enjoyed our time there, I never strayed from my allegiance to Vancouver! Eventually we decided that this was where our roots truly were.

When our two children were grown, it was time to think about what I really wanted to do with the rest of my life. As I had been a stay-at-home Mum, my skills as a research librarian (involved in very early IT work) had long since atrophied, and I wasn't sure that's what I wanted to do again anyway.

Fast forward through a few false starts - which included a long period of separation from my husband while I came to grips with what this stage of my life was all about. We definitely weren't COMMUNICATING very well at all. We each needed to take stock, and learn how to talk to each other again. Happily, we are back together now - our long shared history and affection for each other enabling us to share great delight in being the grandparents of the two best granddaughters ever.

But going back a little - a number of life events conspired to help me make a decision: I wanted to go back to school. I definitely wanted to work with people, and I felt very drawn to the field of counselling. Some eight years later - it was a long haul after not being in a classroom for thirty years! - I emerged from the halls of academe with a BA in psychology from SFU, and a Masters in Counselling Psychology from UBC, where I specialized in adult counselling.

And here I am in private practice, specializing in relationship issues. It was the very best decision I could have made. I feel excited and energized by my work, and I never lose sight of the fact that it is a privilege to be asked to participate in people's lives.

I have been counselling individuals and couples now for more than 15 years. I find using my life experience in conjunction with theoretical knowledge gives me some unique insights when it comes to problem-solving with my clients.

When I am not counselling, I can usually be found with my granddaughters - or indulging in my other great passion for movies and live theatre. Or I might be out walking along one of our many seawalls and trails, taking in the spectacular views all around - even in the rain.

And just about every day, I find time to be thankful for that fateful toss of a coin so many years ago.