Workplace bullying

Harassment and bullying in the workplace: the effect on older female employees

This is part of an article I recently wrote, and I am including it here as I feel it may be of interest and help to others in a similar situation. While the events I have described have elements of the actual harassment or bullying situations I have heard about from clients, I have changed the exact details in order to protect clients' anonymity.

I have been noticing an increase in the number of close-to-retirement age women clients I am seeing in my practice, who are feeling threatened or pressured by harassment and bullying tactics in their workplace. Much has already been written about the perpetrators of these tactics. This article addresses the actual experiences of older women - and offers suggestions on how to cope.

By the time I see these women, often through their Employee Assistance Programs, most are already on stress leave. Feeling vulnerable and bewildered, they cannot understand why they are being constantly criticized or picked on - or how they have ended up in this situation. Unable to find rational explanations for the bullying and/or harassment, they run the gamut: from thinking they have somehow "lost it" to whether this has something to do with age discrimination. They sometimes question whether there has been a deliberate attempt by management to force them to take early retirement. In any case, they have been unable to come up with any explanation that does not leave them doubting their own abilities - and self-worth.

All I have counselled worry that if early retirement is the option they finally are forced to choose, because of poor physical and emotional health caused by the harassment and bullying, they are ending their (usually) long careers under a dark cloud not of their making. It is hard for them not to let these unpleasant memories override the ones of early, more fulfilling years.

So how does it all begin? Commonalities often centre on difficulties in adjusting to new work methods or on changing personnel. Older employees can feel intimidated by new technology and reluctant to admit they could perhaps use some extra training. They will try to cope using their old ways, often with limited success. These situations seem to provide fertile ground for bullying and harassment tactics.

New managers or supervisors can be seen as intimidating - especially if they make procedural changes without clearly communicating the reasons. Again, older employees can feel reluctant to ask for clarity - or even to make valuable suggestions based on their experience. Too often I hear "I feel invisible as a person", "I wish I could at least be treated with respect". Or "it worked perfectly well for the last 10 years, so why change it now".

Changing values and ethical practices have an effect too, "I take longer to learn new processes but I get there in the end - but management just won’t wait" being a response to "work faster, produce more" instructions. Older employees are of a generation where respect for each other in the workplace was more of a given, especially so in terms of trusting their superiors. Value systems included getting the job done and well - however long it took. The work environment generally moved at a slower and more congenial pace. Now when faced with new challenges, older women can find it hard to speak up for themselves or to complain about their cavalier treatment - especially if it is insidious and 'hidden'. Witnesses are hard to find and often unwilling to speak up.

Humiliation is another significant factor in most bullying and harassment claims. I heard from one client (in her late 50s) how she was admonished each time she took a washroom break - and told to "stop drinking so much tea" as she was taking too much time away from her desk. This was mostly done over the office intercom - my client was devastated and embarrassed. Combined with other events, she became sure they were trying to get rid of her.

The effect of humiliation often results in hesitancy to question what is happening, or speak up - sometimes for many months and in more than one case, for several years. As an example, one older employee had an emotional breakdown after several years of continual harassment and is unlikely ever to return to work. In her last months at work, her supervisors took it in turns to berate her in front of the public, accusing her of making mistakes and at one point, forged her signature on documents to try and prove it. Even then she chastised herself: "I couldn't take it any more. I used to be strong and now I feel weak. I should have just taken it".

The resulting feelings of loss of identity and self-worth have a significant impact on emotional well-being. Quite a number of victims end up taking some form of medication - antidepressants, anti-anxiety or sleeping aids - often for the first time in their lives. They lose or gain weight. Some turn to substance abuse. They feel stressed and anxious and in many cases, these feelings impact their relationships with family and friends. In short, they are emotionally devastated.

In conclusion, many older victims do not have the energy to take their cases further: filing grievances can take many months and prolong the trauma . Taking early retirement is sometimes seen as the only option if changes cannot be made in the workplace. An added problem is there are often no clear guidelines or procedures in place to pursue harassment and bullying complaints. At present, only Quebec and Saskatchewan have legislation to help protect workers against these issues.

Learning to trust themselves and move on with life, either in retirement or perhaps even in an different workplace, can be daunting and challenging to those in their later years. Healing and recovering feelings of self-worth include: an understanding of how they got to this particular place; knowing that what happened to them was beyond their control to a large extent; and gaining perspective so that they can still feel pride in the contribution they made during their working lives.

     Gillian McLean - January 2008



Bullying and harassment issues

What can you do if you feel you are being bullied or harassed in your workplace?

Address the practical areas first, especially your health and finances. Do you need to see your family physician right away (Do you have a family physician?) to deal with depression, sleep deprivation, anxiety? Would seeing a financial planner to discuss pension options and the impact of early retirement give you a realistic view of how you might manage if that seems the only solution?

Then I encourage you to:

• talk to your supervisors and let them know how bullying or harassment is affecting you and ask for change.

• be assertive - learn assertiveness and communication skills if necessary and seek support as you try them out.

• look at your resistance to change (if appropriate) - and to see if there is some extra training available, or which you can request.

• look at other options in the workplace - for example, if there is a personality conflict, could you transfer to a different department?

• Consider whether you wish to pursue a complaint: do you have the energy? Are you well enough? Do you have support?

• Seek professional help in terms of supportive counselling.

• tell your story, to recount with pride your working career and highlights. Not to lose sight of the fact that you have worked well and diligently for many years, and been proud of the contribution you have been able to make.

• not put your life on hold if your case is being reviewed, but to keep in touch with family and friends.

• take up a new hobby or interest, and get as much exercise as your fitness level permits.

• continue to seek supportive counselling to assist in reaffirming your value – not just as an employee, but as a human being. Hopefully, with renewed belief in yourself, you will begin to heal and recover your self-esteem.